The Heart Of The Matter

For so long… I’ve been focusing on the wrong keys to happiness. Even with the weight loss aspect. I’ve been so incredibly impatient that I turned my focus on quick fixes that I knew wouldn’t work, though I desperately wanted them to. So today… I’m getting down to the heart of the matter… Happiness.

In order to truly embrace this lifestyle change, I need to stop looking at the things that I cannot change and start focusing on what I can…  Writing is my therapy, so please bear with me through this post...

• Overcoming my “Tragedy of Existence”:  I don’t know about everyone else, but I try to measure up to others at all costs… leading me down a funk that I’ve recently learned is defined as “tragedy of existence”.  What in the world could this EMO definition possibly try to define? Here’s the Katie summary…. (Though you may completely disagree, I would love to know your interpretations!) If you’re anything like me you plan and over-analyze just about every significant (and sometimes unimportant) part of my life. I think what can I do differently to be more successful or to make this person happy. This morning I woke up to a huge realization that I needed to just STOP. All I’ve been doing is punishing myself, as I get overwhelmed wondering… Are things right?  Maybe I’m supposed to be alone? What can I do to make everything BETTER?  This is my monster that I must overcome… there is nothing dooming me to be mediocre or to fail at completing my goals but my own doubt. The hardest part of this step is accepting that, “By realizing this great truth, you have the foundation for attaining happiness in knowing the fact everything about your existence will ultimately work out and you needn’t worry about it.”

• Another thing that I’ve newly come to terms with is that, “the key to happiness is realizing that happiness is not about feeling joy all the time or everything always working out in your life.” There comes that little excuse monster that I’ve latched onto for eons! If anything, I need to be content with the good aspects of my life as I strive to better myself inside and out… without beating myself up! Sometimes bad things have to happen for us in order for us to appreciate the good life has to offer. 

• Other people are not necessary for YOUR happiness: This one really hits home because I unfortunately am guilty of this one… and I know now that I can’t rely on other people being in my life as a key to my happiness, because you never know when they no longer need you in their life. This one takes me back to square one… What do I personally do to make myself happy… exercise, get outdoors, watch movies, read books… you get the picture. No matter what though, I still hold a special place for those who are here for me and never want to take them for granted.

• “Stress is the MAIN cause of Unhappiness”: Oh I definitely hear this one all too clear…  Ed Reep nailed this one on the head when he said, “Some of the most painful, miserable moments I’ve ever felt were when I had to work on projects I waited until the last minute to start — it’s suffocating, like being stuffed in a morgue container for days while you’re conscious. At least when you’re unhappy because of some tragedy or drama in your life (or even the tragedy of existence), you have the luxury of being able to take your mind off what’s bothering you by getting lost in a pleasant activity. But, since you’re almost always stressed in life because there is some unpleasant activity you must do or something you feel you should worry about, you have no outlet to take your mind off what’s making you unhappy because you are obligated to keep your mind on the source of your unhappiness.” My procrastination and over-whelming fear of failure really has kept me from being the best person that I can be for myself... Also to look instead into the things in life that I am actually passionate about.

Bottom line… in order to truly love myself and succeed, I need to strive to be as happy as possible instead of looking for excuses and easy outs. Also, that I need to help those in my life be as happy as possible because those are the ones who will be there cheering you on at the finish line.

Conclusion to my drawn out post: Success and Happiness DO go hand in hand, if you allow them. It is attainable if you believe in yourself! This is the life I want to lead and hopefully I helped someone else along my road to self-discovery.

Ed Reem's Article